Ode to a School Computer

Ode to a School Computer

By David Ahl

I was stay'in after school a week or so ago

'Cause I told a teacher where she could go

She had me settin' in this big old room

With a bunch of machines that just looked like doom

There's this big Mutha machine with flashing' lights

And a couple of funny-looking' electric typewrites

Well I thought I'd type somethin' for the fun of it

So I hunted and pecked out just one word - "shit"

Before I could lean back in my chair and get steady

That machine typed WHAT, and then it said READY

So I typed a whole line of them four-letter words

But it just replied WHAT and READY like it hadn't heard

Well I figured since I couldn't go out fishin'

I'd teach that stupid machine to listen

So I picked up this book called Teach yourself BASIC

And sat down at that Teletype prepared to face it

First I found to make that machine type my bit

I just had to put a PRINT in front of it

And then I found out that thing could add

And subtract and multiply and divide like mad

I found out too it knew all kinds of games

Like craps and blackjack and a cannon to aim

I was havin' all kinds of fun when that teacher walked in

She just looked at my output and started to grin

I kind of sheepishly asked if I could stay a while more

She said: "Sure; when you just shut the door".

I tried some more games like football and poker

And a parachute jump written by some kind of joker

There was one where I could try to land on the moon

It would crash and blow up if fired the engines too soon

Well, I played on through supper and into the night

And then finally quit when I saw dawn's first light.

Some girls, I know are while lot cuter

But I found a new kind of high with that computer.