Ode to a School Computer By David Ahl I was stay'in after school a week or so ago 'Cause I told a teacher where she could go She had me settin' in this big old room With a bunch of machines that just looked like doom There's this big Mutha machine with flashing' lights And a couple of funny-looking' electric typewrites Well I thought I'd type somethin' for the fun of it So I hunted and pecked out just one word - "shit" Before I could lean back in my chair and get steady That machine typed WHAT, and then it said READY So I typed a whole line of them four-letter words But it just replied WHAT and READY like it hadn't heard Well I figured since I couldn't go out fishin' I'd teach that stupid machine to listen So I picked up this book called Teach yourself BASIC And sat down at that Teletype prepared to face it First I found to make that machine type my bit I just had to put a PRINT in front of it And then I found out that thing could add And subtract and multiply and divide like mad I found out too it knew all kinds of games Like craps and blackjack and a cannon to aim I was havin' all kinds of fun when that teacher walked in She just looked at my output and started to grin I kind of sheepishly asked if I could stay a while more She said: "Sure; when you just shut the door". I tried some more games like football and poker And a parachute jump written by some kind of joker There was one where I could try to land on the moon It would crash and blow up if fired the engines too soon Well, I played on through supper and into the night And then finally quit when I saw dawn's first light. Some girls, I know are while lot cuter But I found a new kind of high with that computer.